As a child growing up in the South, I have visited my share of Churches: Southern Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, and even Catholic. I remember sitting through countless Sunday school classes, spending almost every summer in vacation bible school, and counting down the seconds until church got out. My family never forced religion down my throat (and for that I am very thankful), but in the South church is just what you do, all my friends went to church so naturally I went as well.
I can remember first questioning religion (specifically Christianity) when I was about 12 years old. I went to a Southern Baptist church with a friend in my hometown of Sumter, South Carolina. The preacher gave the typical sermon about the importance of being saved and of course the importance of baptism. He spoke of a God that should be feared and of a scary, lonely and terrifying place called Hell. As a baby I was never baptized, my parents just didn’t think it was important. So as the preacher spoke I wondered how I could possibly be going to Hell just because my parents chose not to have me baptized. For a 12 year old Hell is a scary thought and so of course I nagged my parents to get me baptized. Although they were both Christians, they still found no importance in it and explained that you don’t simply go to heaven because you are baptized. It upset me at times, but looking back I am glad they kept me humble and did not let me get consumed by the Southern Baptist whirlwind.
Over the years (throughout much of my time in high school), I struggled with religion. At times, I longed to be “saved” and at other times I apposed Christianity altogether. I didn’t want to go to Hell, but I didn’t want to be a part of something that was so judgmental and exclusive. I was in a place between belief and opposition. After going to just about every church in Sumter and feeling so distanced from Christianity and its beliefs I decided to give up on the notion of Christianity completely. Not because I didn’t believe in God or an afterlife, but because I didn’t believe in the Christian concept of what I should be or what others should be. I can’t come to believe that humans are born into sin, that human nature is bad, that only Christians go to heaven, and that I should fear God. It was probably my freshman year of college when I completely came to terms with my beliefs and quite searching completely. I recently came across a quote by John Lennon that adequately sums up my feelings:
I believe in God, but not as one thing, not as an old man in the sky. I believe that what people call God is something in all of us. I believe that what Jesus and Mohammed and Buddha and all the rest said was right. It's just that the translations have gone wrong.
It’s been a few years since I’ve dabbled in religion, but recently, the issue has been laid before me again. Honestly, I never really thought about other religious beliefs in too much depth. I believed that there was some truth in all of them (all paths to heaven). Although I believe this, I didn’t know much about them and for some reason I really wasn’t that interested learning about them.
I’m not quite sure what sparked my new found interest in religion. It’s not that I’m searching for anything in particular. I think it’s just that I’ve developed a curiosity for it. My first run in with religion came at the beginning of this year. A friend of mine suggested that we visit an African American church. Of course I jumped at the opportunity to do anything outside of my usual bubble. The experience was so different than any other church I visited in the past. As my two friends and I entered the church, we were greeted with hugs from four middle aged women. Even though we got some stares (for obvious reasons)- no one seemed to really care that we were different. They embraced us all the same (this is actually pretty different from the judgmental church atmosphere that I was used to). It was actually a bit refreshing. The church didn’t have much, but there was so much joy in the member’s hearts. Singing, dancing, laughing, and praising for hours upon hours is the best way I can sum up the experience. It was simply joyful!
This semester I am taking a World Religions class, and this is where my next run in with religion came. It has been great to have my horizon broadened and learn so much about different religious practices and teachings. Before this class, I knew probably zero to nothing about Hinduism and Buddhism. The more I learned, the more my fascination grew. There are definitely parts of these religions that resonate with me, especially in Buddhism. I know it’s silly, but after watching the movie Eat, Pray, Love I have an urge to actually put my learning’s into practices. Maybe visit a Buddhist temple? Something that I especially like about Buddhism is that it is a very practical religion (if that’s what you want to call it). From what I have learned so far, there is virtually no judgment in Buddhism. Maybe I will start meditating, who knows. It’s been pretty enlightening and refreshing to learn so much about other religions and actually relate to some of their practices. The idea of Karma is something that I really find to be interesting. I think many Christians think that religions such as Hinduism and Buddhism don’t have much moral foundation, and that is just not the case. Here is a quote from the Buddhist religion that speaks on action (Karma). “Be intenet on action, not the fruits of action; avoid attraction to the fruits and attachment to inaction”.
Last week, I had an offer from one of my friends to attend church with her. I have to admit, I was a little hesitate. After my positive religious experiences, I didn’t want to pollute my mind with negativity and judgment, but I’m a yes person and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to do something new. You might wonder why I call this experience new. I’ve already stated that I have visited countless churches throughout my childhood and teenage years. I call this experience new for two reasons. The first is because of my new open mind and the second is because of the type of Christian church I visited, I guess it would fall into the category of a MEGA CHURCH (they seem to be a growing fad). Never in my entire life have I had an experience quite like this. And I’m not sure if I will ever subject myself to an experience like this again. I’m not sure if it would be really appropriate to call this place a church. It was more like a business. The outside facade of the church looked like an airport. Upon entering the church, we were greeted with a coffee shop and souvenir store. When we entered the sanctuary (HA) it reminded me more of a concert hall, not a church (there were no pews in sight). Now, obviously I’m not much for the traditional church atmosphere, but this was another level. Speaking of a concert hall, that’s exactly what it was. For about 15 minutes a new age Christian pop band performed. As far as the sermon went, there was no substance behind any of it. The way they foster emotion out of the congregation (and me) was completely fake- the dramatic stories, the lighting-, all contributed to getting emotion out of people, but there was no lesson behind any of it. I think that it’s tragic that so much money went into making the church flashy when they could be doing actual good with it. Being “saved” was the main attraction at the church. But what does being “saved” actually mean. They put such a big emphasis on doing this, but never really explained what it meant to be “saved”. This act of saving people doesn’t make the world a better place. If anything it just closes their hearts more.
I’ll put an end to my rambling for now, but more is soon to come…as my journeys continue.
